A positive pregnancy test, and you are jumping for joy at finding out you are becoming a father. Congratulations, you are about to embark on one of the best journeys of your life.
But once the excitement dries down, and you start to enjoy the pregnancy with your partner, you can start to think, worry and become anxious about what is to come. But relax, it doesn’t need to be a scary prospect. I thought I would share with you some of the things to think about to help calm the mind so you can enjoy the journey you are about to take.
Don’t let the negativity take over
Finding out you are going to become a father is an exciting thing, there is no doubt about that, but once the initial shock has worn off, there is no avoiding those negative thoughts that can come creeping in.
Are you good enough? Will you be a good dad? Are up to the job?
The truth is, gut instinct takes over the moment you hold your baby for the first time, and no matter how hard you try you can never prepare yourself or know exactly what to expect. You just go with it and do what feels right at that moment. Negativity can really steal the joy away from this moment, so try and switch the thought process to something more positive. Remember the best is yet to come.
Plan and prepare with budgets
There is no avoiding the fact that babies and children cost money. From the moment your partner is pregnant the costs start to mount up. Maternity clothes, preparing for the babies arrival, the things that family needs. Not to mention some of the bigger considerations like a more family oriented car or even a house move because you don’t have enough space.
Take some time out to plan as much as you can and start preparing where possible. The financial side of thing is never. Ancie topic of conversation to have, but you do need to have budgets in place to ensure that you can do all that you can to make this work for the family.
Will you find out the gender and extra scans
There are some incredible moments that you are going to have along this pregnancy and newborn journey, and so taking them when you can is going to be the best advice. These days, people can book in extra scans and also find out the gender of their baby in advance.
These are fantastic opportunities to bond with the baby before they even arrive. They can also be a lot of fun, and people tend to use the gender scans as a chance to do crazy reveals to their family and celebrate.
Get the nursery ready
While you are enjoying the pregnancy, you can also use the time to be a little more practical, and that means getting the nursery ready for your new arrival. This can actually be a lovely way to share in the excitement as you start to plan the look and theme.
If you have decided to find out the gender then you may be wanting to use specific colours, or if you are having a surprise you could be looking at a more neutral theme. It can be really exciting to look online to find out some of the best options.
A quick look at a Nursery furniture collection to match a theme, or simply trying to find unique pieces or bargains on the internet. Having a budget in mind will help you stay on track and writing lists will help to ensure you get everything that you need.
Research the best buys
One the subject of the nursery, if you are already looking out for things for the nursery then you may want to start researching the best buys for everything else. This could be things like the best breastfeeding pumps to the ideal Moses basket or co sleeper options.
A lot of this may be done by your partner, but getting involved in finding out what could be the best purchase will help her to feel supported on this journey.
Support your partner as best you can
The pregnancy journey may feel like an up and down roller coaster ride, but if you feel that way, just imagine how your partner must be feeling. The best advice would always be to do your best to support her as much as you can. The hormones will be all over the place for her, and if this is the first pregnancy, most of the symptoms feel new and can be worrying as well.
Communication throughout will be key. If you can, try and attend as many appointments as you can. Having both been there, you may be able to ember things that your partner may not have heard in terms of care and options.
Will you be taking time off after the baby is born?
At some point, you will need to think about time off when the baby arrives. This can be extremely hard to decipher as a father. Letting your employer know as soon as possible that you are likely to be wanting to take some time off is important. You can then give them an estimated date, but they will also be aware that there may need to be some flexibility around that.
After all, no one can predict when a baby is going to arrive. Keeping them informed is the best advice, and deciding on how much time off you want really is a personal decision to make. I know that it can be difficult especially around pay, so do what is right for you and your family.
Little things you can do
Finally, throughout the pregnancy why not give yourself things to look forward, aside from the arrival of your newborn. A baby shower that you organise for your partner, a baby moon where you get some quality time together before your world changes forever, these things can make the biggest difference.
I hope that these tips help you if you have just found out you are going to be a father.
Josh – Contributing Author